Integrachan in Wonderland
by punipunipoemi
Summary: Poor Integra's been flung into an alternative dimension were her nightmares come true! Young Walter, Femmicard, Seras,and Dracula all want a peice of her! Will Alucard get there in time? Or will altar boy Anderson give him a detour? Find out!


"Get away from me, you discusting freak!" Integra Hellsing yelled.

"You're a very attractive woman Miss Hellsing." The Vampire smirked running his tounge over her cheek.

Oh this freak was so dead.

"You know it makes me wonder why none of your subordinates never try to..." He sniffed her hair. The freak had managed to tie her down with some strange magic and he was currently touching her in places she did not want to be touched. The female Hellsing glared at the pervert knowing full well what Alucard would do when he arrived, and speak of the devil.

"Thats my master your groping." And he said this with the utmost look of hell on his face.

The freak laughed, the kind of laugh one gives when he has something up his sleeve.

"_Aho-na ashimoto nyannyan, Tadaima!" _The freak chanted, causing a bright light to invelope Integra.

"Wahhh! Alucard!" She was falling fast through the sky passing by clouds and the occasional pink pteradactyl. "What the hell?" Integra barely had time to think before slamming into the ground.

'Thud' The young knight sat up from the hole she had made in the sediment. "That should have hurt more than it did, I think."

She surveyed her surrondings, noticing she appeared to be in some strange dark forest. Of course such things did not faze her so she stood, brushing the dust off her clothes when she noted something much more frightening, what she was wearing.

"What in the bloody hell! My old school uniform, I haven't worn this since I was 14!" The knight scoffed at her childish outfit that consisted of a long blue pleated skirt and a white button-up blouse. "Alucard if you're up to something I swear."

-Meanwhile, in the real world, Alucard was up to something, kicking the undead crap out of the vampire who had sent his master to a different dimension.

"Where is she?" He asked asked pushing the jackal to the forehead of the freak vampire.

"Where her worse nightmares will come true! Bwahahaha-"

'Bang' The vampires evil laugh was silenced by the bullet that caused his brains to decorate the wall.

Elsewhere, in the alternative universe, Integra had decided to scout the area hoping to find help, or perhaps just a cigar. Her search was however, stopped by a voice.

"Well hello there, cutie." The Hellsing commander snapped around, glaring at the young man who spoke to her. He was wearing clothes similar to her butlers (save the monocle) and he was slowly walking toward her grinning sexily.

"What's your name, darling" The young man said brushing a peice of hair out of Integra's face.

"Don't touch me" She snapped, slapping the mans hand away.

"Oh my you are a spitfire aren't you?" He said snatching Integra's hand and placing a kiss on it. "Walter C. Dornez at your service, milady."

No, no, NO! This perverted man could not possibly be Walter. Walter was kind and caring and the thought of him having dirty thoughts about her made har want to gag. I mean really...

The young Walter noticing the womans distraction, used the opportunity to pin her to a tree.

"Do you have any idea how sexy you look in that outfit?" Walter breathed sexily into Integra's ear.

Of course she didn't need to be told, she coul feel it. At this point Integra's thoughts became that of a teenage girl.

'Eww! Walter's penis is touching me!' So, she did what any person would do if a person you veiwed as a father figure was hitting on you. Hit them.

'Wham!' Young Walter fell to the ground nose gushing blood as a very disturbed Integra ran away.

"Damn, another one got away." The young version of Walter said wiping his nose.

--

Integra leaned against a tree panting. After contemplating recent events she decided the she must of been in some sort of alternative universe. She sighed and began to relax when something slithered around her waste.

"Get away from me you bloody pervert!" she yelled freeing herself. She turned to yell at the lecher only to find what appeared to be a woman, and a very strange woman at that. The woman had long black hair and was wearing a white suit and scarf. She was also wearing some kind of strange furry hat that made Integra wounder about the woman's fashion sense.

"Hello sexy little girl, you shouldn't be walking around this dark forest all by yourself, there are monsters you know." The strangely dressed woman said in a voice to deep for her gender.

"Oh believe me I can deal with monsters"

"Oh really?" The girlish person said grinning showing fangs. "Can you deal with me?" The woman appeared instantly in front of Integra, which would have noticed if she weren't so preoccupied trying to figure out if the person in front of her was a man or a woman. But really, who could tell?

The Hellsing woman winced as she was pushed to the ground. She squirmed as black tentacles wrapped around her arms and legs pinning her down. Another tentacle slid up her leg and lifted up her skirt to reveal teddy bear panties.

"Oh come on! Like I'd ever wear those!" Integra struggled against the questing tentacles to no avail. Speaking of tentecles these looked awfully familiar, she looked up at the woman to see another very familiar aspect. Grinning red eyes.

"Alucard?" No, it couldn't be, this effeminate person could not possibly be-

"Oh. So you know my name? We can skip the formalities then." He said ripping the buttons of Integra's shirt. The blonde woman gasped, not from anger but from her recent discovery.

"Bwahahahaha!" She burst into laughter and tears leaked from her eyes. "You look like a girl!" She continued laughing hoping it would cause anger in the vampire so he would stop trying to rape her, but her laughter cause the opposite effect.

"Umm your laughter is delicious, little girl." Alucard could care less if the woman thought him feminine, she would be his. The vampire purred as he layed on top of Integra his tentacles still working at her clothes.

"That better be a gun in your pocket Alucard!" She stuggled against him but it only seemed to exite him more, he purred licking her cheek and grinding his hips into her.

'I will not let him rape me!'

Just then an idea came to Integra. A wonderfully evil idea.

"Hey look! It's Abraham Van Hellsing!"

"What? Where!" Alucard jumped from Integra looking around in panic. He was in fact, so preoccupied he didn't notice the blonde picking up a large rock; he did however, notice when she hit him over the head with it.

The Hellsing quickly dashed away from the feminine vampire knowing he wouldn't stay down long.

"Dammit! Young Walter, Femmicard, who's next altar boy Anderson?"

Just as she was thinking it she ran into someone falling back onto the ground causing her skirt to flip up flashing her panties.

'No, no! I take it back' She thought afraid to see who she ran into.

"Sir Integra?" said a soft feminine voice.

"Seras? Oh thank God!" 'Finally someone who won't hit on me!'

"Sir Integra your shirts torn open."

"Oh yes, I just had a run in with Alucard, crazy bas-"

"You look very sexy." Seras said blushing.

'Oh no! Not again.'

Seras straddled Integra's waist and pulled apart the remainder of her shirt. The female vampire blushed staring at the Hellsing womans golden orbs contained in her lace bra. She then licked her lips showing off her long tounge.

'First Boban sith and know this! What is it with vampire women and ripping open my shirt!'

Seras panted leaning down to lick Integra's breast when he head snapped up eyes glowing.

"We're going to have to stop our fun, Master wants you." Seras grabbed the other womans head and slammed it against the ground effectively knocking her out.

-Meanwhile in another part of the dark forest a portal opened up and Alucard came through.

"So this is were my master went. It's supposed to be a place of nightmares, this isn't scary at all."

"Well aren't you jus dead sexay." A young version of Anderson stood against a tree grinning at Alucard.

"Now that's scary."

Integra's eyes opened, her head feeling like she had got hit by a truck. She sat up rubbing her sore head noticing quite a bit more air on her flesh. She looked down to see that she was wearing a silky red dress that showed her shoulders and dipped down her chest revealing quite a bit of cleavage.

"Ahh, you're awake, how wonderful. The dress is my touch do you like it?"

The Hellsing leader looked up to see a man with long black hair a mustache and a goatee. He was wearing a victorian style tux and Integra almost instantly recognized him.

"Vlad Dracula" 'Dammit! Haven't I already had enough of Alucard today!'

"And you are?" Dracula said, extending a hand to help her up.

"Leaving" Integra stood up on her own and began walking away when Dracula appeared instantly in front of her.

"You do not wish to leave so soon, do you?" The vampire said trying to use his hypnosis.

"Yes I do!" Of course hypnosis didn't work on Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing. Swine.

She tried once again to get away from the vampire when he appeared in front of her again."You're pissing me off!"

"Well allow me to make up for it, dance with me." He grabbed Integra whipping her around forcing her to dance with him.

'Well, at least hes trying to romance me unlike all those others, won't work though.'

"Your a strong woman I like that, _you make my blood boil."_

"Sorry you've already used that line try a new one."

"You make me harder than diamond." Dracula purred pressing his lips to Integra's while grinding their hips together.

'SMACK' Most people would have thought it stupid to slap Dracula, but her virginity was sacred dammit!

Dracula grinned evily at Integra, excitement growing. Never had he met a woman like this and he would make her his new queen. He pushed the young Hellsing woman agaisnt a wall (Damn that was getting annoying) and began kissing her roughly massaging one of her breasts with his hand. Integra stuggled slight fear tearing through her, what if he actually managed to rape her? She fought more wishing that Alucard was here, the real Alucard. _Her monster._

When Dracula finally pulled away to let her breathe, she screamed for him. "ALUCARD!"

"Oh, so you're finally becoming frightened. That will make this much more fun." Dracula continued his groping of the young Hellsing woman when a voice spoke from behind them.

"How many people do I have to kill before they get the piont? Nobody touches MY master."

"Alucard!" Integra's eyes lit up smiling in relief and happiness at her monsters arrival. Of course this didn't last long."What the hell took you so long!" She screeched, planning for much pain and suffering in the vampire's near future.

"Sorry, I got held up by altar boy Anderson." Integra sweatdropped.

Dracula glared at the intruder, how dare he interrupt him in the middle of something this important. Alucard grinned pulling out his guns, eager to blow this imposters head off when his masters voice interrupted him.

"Hey Draky!" Integra was fed up with this world and didn't want to stay a moment longer, and she knew that Alucard would take his sweet time tearing apart this alternatve version of himself, so Integra decided to use her umm... wits. She pulled the top of her dress down revealing her breasts to Dracula. This caused him to have a massive nosebleed and pass out on the floor, little hearts in his eyes.

Hmph, men.

"Umm nice _tactics _master." Alucard said, quite amused by the show himself.

"Ohh shut up and take me home, I've had alot to deal with today! I got poked by Walter's penis, felt up by a girly version of you, I was exposed by Seras, and to top it all off I had to wear a dress!"

"It does look very sexy on you." Alucard grinned lifting Integra into his arms as he began floating into the air.

"Don't you start with me too."

"You just looked so happy to see me." He said opening a portal back to there dimension.

"You have no idea. I will never be able to look at anyone the same way again!"

"I don't even get a thank you?"

"Thank you, Alucard. And by the way" Integra pulled Alucard's face down to hers. "If you ever touch me without my permission again I'll kill you!"

A/N: This idea came to me after reading Miyuki-chan in wonderland to many times.

I reuploaded this cause I screwed up the first time and there was no sceen dividers, making it seem even more fast and crazy than it already was.

It's probably not very good as it is one of my first attempts at fanfiction and I would be greatful for any kind words you may have. Also, if you have anything you think would make this fanfiction better it would be a great help as well. I would have said 'constructive critisisum' but I can't 'speel' it right.

Thanks.


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